but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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