Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
