She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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