I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I still have a little drunk in my system
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
