I don't usually arrange sex via text message
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
