my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
