you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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