Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
