I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
