just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
