Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
