is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
