peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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