and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
