the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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