Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
