Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
