wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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