yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
