I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize