I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
