i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
