what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
