God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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