Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
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