Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
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