Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
