your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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