I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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