wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
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