she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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