I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
