So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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