I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I have fence marks all over my body
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
