we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
