i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
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