Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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