i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize