I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
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