I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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