I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
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