im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
