So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize