i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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