no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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