...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
