i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Randomize
