ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
