Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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