This girl is more easily done than said...
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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