You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
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