dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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