Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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