When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
