Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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