WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
