yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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