i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Did we literally take a cab across the street
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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