Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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