I don't remember. Are we still dating?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
