soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
