I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
