how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Randomize
