would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
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