the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
